Passions

3 Reasons I'm Glad I Wasn't Born In The Victorian Age

1. Indoor Plumbing

2. Central Air Conditioning

3. Lobotomies

The first 2 seem reasonably self-explanatory, so I'll move on to #3.

I have long contended that had I been born in a different age, I would have been institutionalized for "nervousness". Possibly a lobotomy would have ensued.

I am a woman of passions.

My passions are what propel me to make an entire wardrobe of skirts for Bella instead of just one or two at a time.

They drove me to sell over $1000 worth of furniture and belongings over the summer, leaving not a single drawer, closet or space in our home untouched. Then I redesigned every room of our house on paper complete with measurements and source lists.

My passions make me create and sew an entire arsenal of tools, a veritable sweat shop for a trip with the girls.

They inspire me to create Lola's Legacy, a charitable service in honor of my first child.

However-

These passions also caused me to break down in dramatic sobs at Timm's family reunion last summer when I was totally overwhelmed by the closeness and chaos of 31 people in one house.

They drove me to a lot of illicit and ill-advised behaviors in response to my first diagnosis  with depression.

My passions make me physically recoil from another human touch at the end of a long day with kids.

These passions drive me to way too much thinking, circular and obsessive.

That's the thing I've discovered- you can't have one without the other. Not with me, anyway. With the spark and ignition of inspiration, ideas, extrapolations and sympathies comes anxiety, mood swings, despair and "nervousness". I have long blamed myself for these polarities in my personality, even using them as evidence of unworthiness and believing that I could somehow control it, or turn it off if only I were better. My inability to do so only furthered my beliefs that I was fundamentally 'bad'. Unlovable. Unworthy. Crazy.

And this is me on meds. Seriously. 

But I have this crazy plan to try and accept the good with the bad. Roll with the punches and be grateful that at least I have these passions. To appreciate the thrill of inspiration when it hits and endure the lows that will inevitably come, knowing that they are both parts of the sum.

And the sum is me.

Not good or bad.

Both.

A figurative crazy jumble of good intentions, strong opinions, varied emotions and a little too much introspection and self-derision. 

Doll House

For Christmas last year, Timm and I decided to make the girls a dollhouse. A sweet dollhouse that would shape their dreams of domestic bliss, imprint indelibly in their memory, and later fight over as adults. Their fighting over it now as children should have been obvious to me, but it turned out to be a bonus. We didn't actually build it from scratch, as we originally planned. A couple years ago we found a dollhouse, 85% completed, on the side of the road complete with the kit instructions and supplies to finish the rest of the house.Unbelievable. It has sat in our garage awaiting our attention until a few months ago. We peeled off old wallpaper (Timm), did a ton of sanding and painting, and built new columns and railing to replace the gingerbread ones supplied in what was obviously supposed to be a Victorian kit. The rest of it was mostly just decorating. Oh, and building furniture.

My main inspiration was this dollhouse, which  leaves me speechless every time I look at it. Which I did often during the construction of ours. If I had more time and money, it would be more fully furnished and decorated, but as it were this was already a combined Christmas present between parents, grandparents, and aunts and uncles. So for now, this dollhouse has tapped out.

Let's go inside, shall we?

The Living Room.

For all of the wallpapers and rugs, I used scrapbook paper. All of the wallpapers are from Hobby Lobby, purchased recently. The rugs are old scraps I had on hand and Mod-Podged to the floor. The bookshelf, desk and chair are from ebay. The 'vase' is a painted wooden bead. Timm made the couch, and I made the pillows.

Oh, and those pink wooden blocks? They're minimalist chairs. I found some just like it on a Mid-century/Modern miniatures website (yes, that exists-) for $25. Per cube. For a 2" wooden cube. Yeah, so we made our own. That website by the way, has amazing miniature furniture that you probably didn't know existed. I didn't anyway. However, I don't think it's typically designed for small hands and their imaginations- I think they're designing for more of the serious miniature hobbyist. For instance, if I bought this beautiful $180 sectional that I wish I had in my own living room, I would stand and strictly supervise all play. (More than I already do-) I would employ a guard to protect it when I was unavailable lest my devious children attempt to play with it without my gentle reminding presence.

Which brings me to another point. Everything is glued down. Now I know what you're thinking- 'Wow, how controlling, obsessive and neurotic can you be?' So? What's wrong with that? But here's my defense: 3 year olds are not known for their dexterity, deft hands, and delicate approaches. Not mine, anyway. I knew that if I didn't, everything would be broken and/or lost within days. I did not slave away for so many hours just to have it destroyed so quickly. And as you can see from my referenced website above, doll furniture can be really expensive. (Plus, let's face it- my daughters just don't quite have my design sensibilities yet. If I left it to their design, they'd have that furniture every which way in uncoordinating combinations, unflattering configurations, and really, just downright contrived. I mean to preserve the integrity of the design. Because you know I thought a lot about that.) You're probably still thinking- 'How much fun can it be for them to play with a dollhouse with everything fixed in place?' To which I rely, 'Probably more fun than playing with an empty one because you broke and lost everything.' Also, in my defense- It is the furniture and a few other items that are permanently affixed- they still bring in plenty of other play things to mix things up. And one last item in my defense- on Christmas day, Fiona broke the only 3 things in there that I hadn't glued down yet. Case in point.

If you think I sound defensive, possibly due to my outlined defense, I am. Some people think I am a little too controlling. I don't really see why.

I had a really hard time with some of the furniture- namely couches and beds. The problem is, those widely available are either way too traditional, or as you saw before, way too expensive. I found some that I thought would work with a little reupholstering from me that I ordered on a website. 2 days before Christmas it became evident that that furniture was not coming, so I asked Timm to whip some up. I think I ended up liking his even better- very simple indeed, but pleasing to me. I sewed all the pillows and the like.

A little nook. Furniture from eBay, the books from Hobby Lobby. After much deliberation, I decided to affix the chair legs to the floor, but allow the chair to swivel. Fiona broke it.

And here is our modest kitchen.

All of the furniture if from Hobby Lobby, as are the pots and pans, and cuckoo clock (Which I painted pink)

I did not glue the oven and sink doors closed but I seriously considered it.

Oh wait, that little table is from eBay, along with the food items and the kumquat tree. (!)

I love the kumquat tree- I have always wanted a small citrus tree in my kitchen. I think I might be able to manage that much gardening.

The 'Master' Bedroom

The silhouettes are scrapbook stickers from Holly Lobby, the frame is one I bought from Hobby Lobby and painted. Shelves and tv are from eBay.

Excuse this dresser (from HL). I found out on Christmas Eve that it didn't take spray paint too well. Out of time, I decided to leave it for another undetermined time.

The Kid's Room

The furniture (besides the bed) are from eBay, as well as the book rack. I made the bulletin board.

I appropriated some small items to furnish the kid's room, i.e. the elephant and the ball. Seeing as they were permanently adhered, it didn't go over too well with Bella. At least I reached my goal of having one of my kids cry over their main gift on Christmas day. I promised to resupply the items.

The pennant is a scrapbook sticker.

I love this chevron fabric, so I stitched along the lines to define it. A real quilt for the dolls!

And that's the house. We haven't done much with the top floor yet, but it's destined for a play room. I just sewed a couple of tufted floor cushions for the little alcove and called it good for now.

Exterior

We found some Martha Stewart glitter paint that was absolutely perfect for mimicking the look of a real roof.

And lastly, we bought a coffee table from Ikea for about $30 and put some casters on it. A perfect fit.

Fortunately, it was received as warmly as we hoped. It is a great size for their mini La La Loopsy dolls who populate the abode.

 Go handmade!

(With the aid of many mass-produced items...)

Some New Looks

My red hair was quite the great divider- those who liked it were effervesent in their praise, and those that didn't studiously avoided the subject all together. My mom was one in the latter camp- one who never spoke a word of it, but you could easily intimate her derisive feelings. So, when word reached her that I was ready for a change, she readily offered to pay for whatever would erase the ill-effects of my shot at individuality and self-expression, as a 30-year old woman.

So this was 2 weeks ago, a very faded version:

This is today. Darker, monochromatic, and shorter. I alternate between straight and wavy, but wavy wins more days because this is what it looks like when I do nothing. I take a shower, let it dry for  couple of hours and then add some product to reduce frizziness. Can't beat that!

Remember, I'm all about making laziness work for me.

 There have been a lot of other changes around the house in the last few months, and I thought I might finally document these. So first up will be the girl's room, which they now share. It is a small room, so because of the bold paint and the large furniture, I tried to keep the rest of it pretty simple and uncluttered.

This is my favorite part of the room- I found this mid-century reproduction (from the 80's) on Craigslist for $50. Of course, when I bought it is was oak, reeking of smoke, and had doors on either end. It took a lot of primer, sanding and paint, but I am smitten. I love it. Plus, it's over 6 feet long, so it holds a lot of clothes for 2 girls.

 

 (The view when you come in the door)

Love.

 

Above it is a collection of frames which includes various prints, both purchased and  printed for free, photos of my 3 girls and their favorite toys, and my favorite, a study of a wildebeest mid-chew. I took it at a Charlotte favorite family spot, the Lazy 5- Ranch, often referred to as the 'redneck zoo'. I loved the fine details of the hairs on his muzzle, the long string of spittle spanning his upper and lower jaws- I just love it. How many places can you display the giant maw of a wildebeest? Not many. Perhaps some would say none- but I love it. It's detail, it's whimsy.

This owl is another favorite- it was obviously a hideous production of the 70's when I found it at Goodwill, but armed with my trusty companion spray paint, voila! Beautiful.

Timm built bunk beds for the girls, and I outfitted them to be what I would have loved as a child. A perfect little personal cave that could hide you from the rest of the world, with all you need inside: books, a light, and a curtain to close around you.

Each bed has a bedside light, a small bookshelf, and a wire with clips for favorite artwork or photos.

 

I was able to sew and line both curtains all with fabric I had on hand. (I used 2 old green twin sheets for the linings)

  

I love me some pretty patchwork of vibrant fabrics.

We used a curtain hanging system from Ikea to hang them so they would pull all the way around the 2 open sides of the beds.

(Curtains closed)

 

(Curtains open)

 

(Cozy)

 

I love this little wall-hanging metal doohickey we use for their scriptures.

 

I used a Command hook on the side of their dresser that faces the wall so I could inconspicuously hang their cd books for nighttime listening.

 

And of course, this little pretty for their door. 

I am very pleased with the transformation of what used to be Fiona's nursery, and with their transition to sharing a room. That leaves what is now termed the play room, or Bella's former bedroom. 

The last few months have brought a few other improvements around here, which I hope to document shortly.

I love the team that Timm and I make- between both of our vision and know-how, we can really bust out quite a few projects- and now that he's home more with his new job, we've had the time. So more to come.